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Having a very emotional roller coaster of feelings lately...uncertainty, hope, fear, excitement, dread. Some days I get up ready to take on whatever life has to offer and other days I want to roll back over and go back to sleep, hoping I'm only dreaming. I want to know what's going on, that there will be structure. The thought of change is so very scary for me. I don't like having to depend on someone else. I want security. Not knowing my financial future really bothers me. Not only emotionally, but I think it's physically attacking me. All these health related problems popping up out of nowhere lately, it seems my subconscious mind knew before I heard the words for myself. Job hunting is so draining, taking the time to search, the process of filling out applications, answering questionnaires, taking tests, watching videos. Sometimes the process for applying for a single job takes a couple of hours. Other times it's as simple as uploading my resume to the site. I just want to find something soon. I also want these feelings to go away. God help me.